#I’m so normal about this kid’s show aha

[maydayintheforest]

Just invited my cousin to watch Lego Ninjago with me but he watches it in the “I love legos and lore” kind of way and I watch it in the “I love angst and shipping” kind of way… pray for me

[tavina-writes]

MDZS Society! aka: there's a lot less killing than you'd expect

This follows from this post and also the recent translations of MXTX’s most recent interview (which I can now no longer bother to find bc this has been sitting in drafts for like, siiiix months? More? Oh god anyway.) which reminded me about my feelings regarding MDZS society and how different it is from the martial societies we see depicted in typical modern wuxia. (Small disclaimer, I am a wuxia genre fiend and I love like, thinking about fictional societies so this is like, “AHA! You’ve unlocked my trap card!”) 

For the purposes of this, I’m going to be looking at MDZS/CQL’s depiction of the jianghu (which I think is fairly similar! I don’t actually think the show writers made CQL’s jianghu/martial society more genre typical than it was in the book) and comparing that with modern classic wuxia (mostly Jin Yong and Gu Long works.) For this comparison, I’ll be looking at a Jin Yong book — Legend of the Condor Heroes (which is widely considered the starting point of modern wuxia as a genre) — and one Gu Long book — Dagger Li/Sentimental Swordsman, Ruthless Sword (widely considered his most popular work) — and seeing how their societies differ from MDZS society. 

This will likely come in two parts because this one was already getting long, and I don’t think we can fit “how often does nobility exist in a typical jianghu and what do bloodline sects look like normally versus what they look like in MDZS” in this post along with the main topic of “is MDZS society a particularly physically violent place?” 

This post discusses how often cultivators are socially expected to kill people. Like, actual living human beings instead of, say, monsters or ghosts which have been categorized differently than like, human beings. 

EDIT: I forgot to talk about Dagger Li but this was already much too long sorry. Feel free to hmu for more thoughts though.

Now, it might be easy to think that cultivators killing actual people is a really common thing in MDZS/CQL universe! After all, they do have martial arts training and one of the prominent things about the first life is just how many people die both in the Sunshot Campaign and the fallout afterwards. However, I would argue that a lot of the traumas and related issues and reactions that happen in MDZS happen because cultivators are, by training and education, not actually prepared for killing actual living breathing human beings! (And also that the morality of this world prevents it for the most part) 

Now, we do actually get a pretty good window into what the typical training is like for young cultivators in MDZS, because we get a fairly well defined schoolhouse scene where LQR is asking them questions about "how do you tell the difference between various different problems we have to solve?" and "how do you go about fixing this problem?" and none of those include the moral quandary of "if I, a young cultivator out in the Jianghu, see a guy who is doing something I morally disagree with, under what circumstances do I beat him up and/or kill him." This does not appear to enter the curriculum at any point, leading me to believe that the morally correct number of people not like, ghosts or ghouls or fierce corpses, a regular average MDZS cultivator is supposed to have killed is approximately 0.

Which. Is a thing you get in a normal martial arts wuxia jianghu. There is generally the threat of "oh yeah this that or the other faction will be doing shitty things and thereby try to murder you." Instead, in MDZS/CQL most of the heirs of sects are...attending school together. Doing teenage things like partying and gossiping and attending classes.

And sure yes, there was a case of WWX and JZX trying to beat each other up. But the sects did sure let their kids stay at Lan summer camp for months on end (sometimes repeatedly, see NHS) without fearing for their lives or that anyone would steal another sect's techniques or otherwise causing real havoc or intersect warfare etc.

Which is infeasible in any other sort of Jianghu situation. For example, contrast this scenario with this scene from LOCH where Guo Jing's shifus are giving him advice since he is newly 17 and about to set out by himself into the great big world:

Guo Jing therefore bid farewell to his teachers. They had witnessed his battle against the Four Demons of the Yellow River, and were not too greatly worried. The young man had proved that he knew how to use the skills that they taught him. Therefore they let him leave alone. On one hand, the meeting of outlaws in Yanjing worried them greatly, so that they could not ignore it; and on the other hand, a youngster always had to travel the jianghu alone, in order to learn lessons that no teacher could pass on. At the moment of parting, each made their last recommendations. As usual when the Six spoke after one another, Nan Xiren was the last one to express himself. "If you cannot defeat the enemy," he said. "Flee!" He knew that given Guo Jing's dogged character, he would prefer to die rather than to surrender, if he met a master, he would certainly fight to the bitter end, even at the risk of death. That was the reason Nan Xiren gave him this common sense warning. " Martial arts have no limits," added Zhu Cong. " As the proverb says, 'For every peak there is one yet higher', so for every man there is one stronger. Whatever your power, you will always one day meet a foe stronger than you. A true man knows to retreat when necessary, when facing grave danger, it is necessary to contain one's impatience and anger. This what is meant by the adage, « If one preserves the earth and its forests, one does not fear to lack firewood ». It is not therefore not cowardly to take good advice! When the enemy is too numerous and that you cannot face them there, it is especially necessary to avoid being too reckless. Keep in mind Fourth Shifu's advice!"

Does this seem like the sort of advice that any Young MDZS Cultivator would get? "You're a good kid, but when you go out into the world, there will be people who straight up want you dead even though they met you 15 minutes ago, you cannot persist in fighting with these people because they will want you dead and you are a baby cultivator who needs to learn to run away when shit gets rough or you will be dead."

And again I come back to how MDZS cultivators are more like occupational ghostbusters because this really does inform how their society functions and runs and how everyone reacts so badly to the Sunshot Campaign beginning and its aftermaths and possibly explains how JGS could get his way after Sunshot.

Because what happens when you get a society that does train heavily in martial arts and have Able To Kill Real People Weapons who spends most of their time solving very black and white situations of "okay is this ghost whose eating people's livers good or bad? y/n?" and a clear hierarchy of "how do we get rid of the ghost eating people's livers in town x" instead of say "is it morally correct to kill this group of bandits who's been threatening the town" or "is it morally correct to kill this shitty businessman who's been holding people hostage and threatening to hack off their limbs" you have a reduced level of philosophical musing on like, "what is the purpose of martial arts, which is designed to kill people and what do I use martial arts for?" and "under what circumstances and situations would I personally find it morally correct to kill a man?" Which are all questions that Wuxia coming of age stories typically have, and I think MDZS does have, but expressed differently.

Again, it appears that the number of Real Live Human Beings that it is morally acceptable to have stabbed in your life is approximately 0 in this universe, and the expectation that you, personally, might have to fend off people trying to stab you over brunch is also approximately 0.

This also leads to a situation where like, questions of vengeance have very difficult escape hatches! If your parents are murdered on the job by an evil rampaging ghost, this is very sad and tragic and now you're an orphan and of course that's not good, but this is a occupational job hazard, not like, "Yeah Joe Bob from the sect down the street murdered my dad because #Reasons~, and now it's my legacy to grow up to murder Job Bob from the sect down the street to avenge my dad."

(I have a whole essay about how this pertains to both of the Nie Brothers, and how it pertains to JGY and also Jin Ling, and how this seems to routinely fuck people up in MDZS in a very specific way we don't typically see in other wuxias, but this is getting SO long as it is).

But yeah "the socially acceptable number of real living people (instead of ghosts or demons or fierce corpses or whatever) to have killed in your lifetime as a cultivator is approximately 0" means that the Sunshot Generation gets really really fucked up by all of this "killing real people" they did.

Which! might be why JFM was so slow to move on "yeah the Wen are threatening to kill your heirs." <- socially inconceivable behavior. Why society in general is so shocked by Xue Yang and the murder of the Chang <- which would be bad normally but not quite like this. And why no one did anything specific about JGS even if they felt he wasn't entirely correct. What are they going to threaten him with? Death???? A trial of his peers? Social Shunning??? Public shame???

"But Tav how does this relate to CQL!Su She's morality?" I hear you ask. Well you see, the question of "he should've been ready to die for his sect!" is utterly baffling in a society where nobody is expected to be ready to die for their sect on a regular basis because the idea that you should be ready for someone trying to stab you before brunch is utterly nonsensical in a world where most people expect that the baseline number of murders a cultivator does in their lifetimes is 0. That's the world he lives in.

On this regard CQL!Su She is utterly blameless. Nobody handed him a rulebook or expectations sheet for "the sect down the street will try to kill you" nor SHOULD they expect he'd be ready to die at a drop of a hat when no part of the education or social expectations include "ready to die for your sect because it's routine for people to try to kill you."

If you don't even expect to be stabbed and possibly die at a discussion conference where there are lots of cultivators from many sects why on EARTH would you expect to be facing down death in your own home when there's. cultivators here to kill you, this situation is so out of left field?

[hazeracha]

• // I need you // •

pairing // jisung x reader

summary // you are attending one of stray kids concerts when your boyfriend desperately needs you, he needs your comfort and of course you will always be there for him.

warning // fluff, anxiety, crying

wc: 2.1k

A/N I’m back kinda, I will try to update more life again had just been a mess aha but I will try to upload more regularly again I have many works on the go that are ready to post.

Today you we’re sitting front row centre stage. Admiring your beautiful boyfriend and his friends perform on stage in front of thousands of people.

They were in their element performing, and hearing the fan's screams and chants was always their favourite part of performing in front of a crowd.

You always enjoyed watching them perform, especially Han as you know how difficult it was for him to get here and overcome his fears. Anytime you attended a concert he always made sure you knew how much he appreciated it in different ways.

Such as waving at you or sending a wink in your direction, which always made the fans around you scream even louder. If that was even possible, and argue about who he was directing it towards.

Watching the boys perform was always amazing, but getting to tell them how much you enjoyed it and your favourite parts of their performance as you all sat backstage had to be your favourite.

However today's concert seemed a little different, Han wasn’t his usual self. To the fans, he seemed his normal energetic self putting on the performance of a lifetime. You knew he was nervous about this concert, but this was normal for him and all the boys. But once they were out on stage the nerves disappeared and it was just the eight of them together, the music and the fans.

But with how much the members were checking in on him and the deep breaths he was taking you could tell something was wrong.

As the boys finished one of their songs Han walked backstage. You knew they did this sometimes for a few minutes to cool down or take a breather and many other reasons, but still at the back of your mind too couldn’t help but think something was wrong.

You waited a few minutes for Han to return but when he didn’t you had to make sure he was alright. Without even thinking you made your way through the crowd and towards the hallways which led backstage. Just as you reached the door you felt your phone vibrate.

Three words. Three words, that's all it took to make your heart shatter.

Hannie 🐿️ : I need you…

Quickly showing your pass to the staff you made your way to the waiting room, where you assumed your boyfriend would be.

Opening the door slowly you saw Han sitting on one of the couches with his head in one hand and the other gripping his phone tightly. You could see your contact on his phone as if he was about to call you but just couldn’t bring himself to do it.

“Hey, what’s going on?” You kept your voice low as you approached him and took a seat beside his trembling body.

“What do you need me to do?” This was a question you always asked because sometimes he needs you to talk to him or touch him to distract himself. Other times he needs space and silence to collect his thoughts as he could become overwhelmed with everything going on around him.

“You, I just need you. I don’t know why I feel like this. I should be out there performing, Chan Hyung is going to be so mad at me” his voice was weak and trembling. But the more he spoke the more his mind was going into overdrive. You took his phone from his hand and set it on the table in front of you.

“That’s okay baby, you don’t need a reason to feel sad sometimes it just happens. You are probably just feeling a little overheated from the concert. As for Chan, he’s not going to be mad at you. He’ll understand. I’m going to get you a drink of water from the other room. I’m going to leave but I will be back in two seconds. Is that okay?” Han replied with a nod of his head.

You stood up placing a small kiss to the top of his head and making your way to the vending machine that was next door.

Two seconds, two seconds that’s how long you were gone for. But in those few seconds, Han’s condition changed dramatically. He was no longer crying, instead, his hands were shaking and his leg was bouncing uncontrollably. He looked up at you with bloodshot eyes and tear-stained cheeks. The sight broke you and the only thing you could focus on in that moment was helping him.

“I stopped crying and then I… I… well…. I don’t know I couldn’t stop it. I tried... I really did. This hasn’t happened in so long. I feel like I can’t… I ca- I can’t breathe” he continued to ramble as you sat beside him.

“Yes you can baby. You can. Just take deep breaths with me okay? Deep breath I-“

“NO! I can’t” Han's voice interrupted you harshly. “I can’t breathe!” He tried to take deep breaths but they came out shaky and inconsistent.

“Let me help you then. Is it okay if I touch you?” You asked him and without a second thought, he nodded his head in desperation.

You started by unbuttoning his shirt and taking off his mic pack. You also grabbed his headphones from his bag connecting them to your phone. You placed them on his head and began playing one of the playlists you made him for moments like this.

Taking his hand in yours you began to check his pulse and tapped on his thigh every time you felt his pulse under your finger. This always helped reassure him that he was okay and nothing was wrong. It also helped him to feel the speed of his heart rate so that he could try and slow it down.

After sitting in silence for around ten minutes Han finally opened his eyes and took one last deep breath. You took the headphones off his head and let go of his hand.

“How are you feeling?” You asked opening the bottle of water you had brought him and handing it to him.

“A little better, can you do something for me?” He replied after taking a sip of his water. You nodded your head and waited for his response.

“Can you cuddle me please” he responded.

“Of course I can. Come here” You opened your arms for him as he lay his head on your chest and wrapped his arms around your waist. You placed a kiss on top of his hair and rubbed small circles on his back.

“Can we stay like this for a little bit before I go back on stage” his voice was muffled as he spoke into your chest. You were a bit shocked but at the end of the day, it was his choice. If he wanted to go on stage then that was his decision. But you still wanted to make sure he knew he had options and didn’t feel forced or like he needed to go out for anyone but himself.

“Are you sure you want to go back on stage? You know you don’t have to. The boys will understand and so will Stay.” You reassured him as you rubbed his back.

“No. I have to. I need to back out and show everyone in okay.”

“Only if you are sure and you feel ready. I don’t want you to think you are being forced and are doing something that will make you uncomfortable” he nodded his head at your words as he untangled himself from your grasp and stood up from the couch.

“Can you help me get ready I don’t want to talk with the staff right now” he pouted as he looked down at you.

“Hold on, I thought you said one more thing” you joked standing up from the couch.

“Oh yeah. I’m sorry I’ll just go and ask one of the sta-“

“Baby, I’m joking of course I’ll help you” You grabbed his face to stop him from talking and kissed his lips. “I’ll go and ask the staff what they need and I’ll be back”

You walked back into the waiting room a few minutes later holding clothes and make-up. The staff has talked you through everything and what you need to do to fix it. Hopefully, your knowledge of doing your own make-up for years was enough, but the staff also told you that Han should know how to help you.

You let Han get changed first and hung up the outfit he was wearing so it didn’t crease. You would not want to be the reason one of their outfits which cost hundreds if not thousands got ruined. You helped him fix the hood of his jumper and tuck up the bottom of his jeans so they weren’t dragging and so he didn’t fall. Because you knew how clumsy he could be sometimes.

“Come sit,” you said pointing to the couch you were both previously cuddled up on. You pulled over a chair and sat in front of him.

As you were applying a little concealer to his under eyes his hands found their way to the pocket of your trousers. He started to open and close the small pocket located on your thigh.

“You okay?” You asked as you applied powder to set the make-up in place.

“Yeah all good, just nervous” he answered.

“I’ll stay right here or even stand at the side of the stage in case you want to come off again. Don’t force yourself to stay up there if you feel uncomfortable” you tried to comfort him.

“I’ll be fine. I want to prove to myself and everyone that I can do this” he spoke as you nodded and made the finishing touches to his hair and make-up.

You both stood up and made your way to the stage and waited for the song to finish, before Chan came to the side of the stage. You saw Han’s body tense and you instantly reached for his hand.

“You ready to come back on?” Chan asked and Han nodded his head.

“Okay come on then” Chan said reaching for his hand. “We will talk later” he continued as he looked between you and Han.

You would usually have a talk with Chan after one of Han’s episodes so you could both learn from each other how to help him or even prevent it from happening in the first place. Han always liked to call this quality time with Mum and Dad, which always made you laugh.

You continued to watch the concert from the sidelines but soon enough it was time for the boys to wrap up the concert.

You joined them backstage in the waiting room as they got ready to go home. You told them your favourite part of the concert or rather favourite moments, as it was always impossible to pick just one.

Once they were all changed and out of their stage outfits you were joined on the couch by Han. He lay his head on your shoulder with one hand on your thigh.

After a few minutes a ray of sunshine who may also be known as Felix plopped himself on the other side of you. Felix also placed his head on your shoulder and let out a deep sigh, snuggling his head deeper into the crook of your neck.

“You okay Felix?” You asked taking his hand in yours and drawing small circles on his palm.

“Yeah, I’m just tired” he replied as you kissed the top of his head.

“Why don’t you take a quick nap whilst everyone else gets ready and the staff finish packing up”

He nodded his head and closed his eyes. You felt a nudge on your shoulder and looked down at your boyfriend to see what he wanted.

“Thank you for today. I love you so much”

“I love you too baby” You tilted his head his head up with your free hand by holding his chin and placed a soft kiss on his lips.

“Hey, Y/N do you not love me” Felix mumbled sleepily into your shoulder.

“Of course I do Felix. I love you so so much” you giggled shaking his hand around.

You looked up from Felix to see if the boys were nearly ready to go. They all stood with pouts on their faces pointing to themselves.

“Oh, my god. You're all ridiculous. I love you all very very much!!” You almost shouted but not loud enough to startle the sleepy boy on your shoulder.

Large smiles appeared on all their faces as they all looked at each other before running towards you in sync. It was like they had all rehearsed this before and attacked you in a cuddle pile.

“We love you too!!!” They all said….

One thing is for sure, Felix never really got the nap he needed.

© byeguyshiladies04 2023

[blakbonnet]

Artist of the Week!

So last weekend, I announced that I'd like to feature an artist every weekend for both new fandom joinees who might not have seen some of this art and older fans who like the nostalgia. This week's artist is Ash @aha-my-villainous-thoughts 💖 who also, wonderful that they are, agreed to answer a few questions for me!

Which App Do You Use To Draw When I’m at my big set up I use Clip Studio Paint, I love it so much. It’s very straight forward to dip straight in, has all of the bells and whistles you need from an elite drawing program, and the community elements where you can see assets and brushes is a lot of fun - although I still to this day have no idea how to earn coins to buy assets?! I use a XPPen Artist 15.6 Pro Graphics Tablet to draw into the program, although my best tip with graphics tablets is to get a screen protector, mine got covered in marks before I noticed. Recently I also got an iPad 10.9 to use as a digital sketchbook I can carry around, and while I am enjoying Procreate, I think CSP is a better art program overall.

Fave Brushes? On iPad I stick to the technical pen, studio pen and the soft airbrush, along with the textures and the light pen. I don’t think Procreate has great ‘painting’ brushes, whereas on CSP I would marry the Gouache brushes, I love how they blend and texture as you work.

Your favourite piece you’ve drawn? I’m a super self indulgent artist, I try to draw the kind of stuff I like to look at, so it’s a lot of colour, a lot of fabric and details. My fave piece for detail is the one I did for the OFMD RBB last year - Crescente Devotione, there’s a blushing sentient stool in it! For colour I’m in love with this sleepy time Ed in a lil negligee and a Holly Golightly eyemask, he's my lock screen because I'm trash.

Who harder to draw: Ed or Stede? Oh for sure Stede. I love Rhys Darby, but the man has like no lips. I stand by this meltdown.

One essential tip for beginner artists? Comparison is the thief of joy, don’t measure yourself against others - particularly when you’re finding your groove. Be self indulgent af. Also get a screen protector for whatever digital screen you draw on, and BACK. THINGS. UP. Whether in an online account, or on an external harddrive - or both?! BACK THAT SHIT UP.

Why OFMD? I’ve been in a few fandoms in the past, always as a pretty passive enjoyer, little fanart here or there, little fanfic sprinkled around, but there’s just something about the way this fandom feels? It feels like a group of friends who’ve got their own lives and their goals, but they still exist in each other's orbit, it’s like this feeling of returning home to somewhere you’re always welcome. There’s so many good moments in the show for both comedy and some gut wrenching pathos. Sign up for the hot guy in leather and get got by this beautiful delicate little love story. It’s something about queer joy of thriving, not just surviving. Something about finding love and romance no matter your age or what’s past before. Something about found family, and unlikely friendships, and community and silliness. I was already a goner when Taika put on the wig, but then when he teared up in a blanket fort while trying not to die? Excuse me sir, I did not need feelings that powerful. It was literally waking me up at night thinking about his last shot weeping in the nook - like are you kidding me?! I’m supposed to finish watching and be normal after that??

[jokertrap-ran]

[Gakuen K] Kusanagi Izumo Route: I remember all our memories Translation (Best END)

*Translator’s note : MC’s name shall remain as my normal (水嶋ラン) *Gakuen K Masterlist / Gakuen K Mobile Masterlist *Spoiler FREE : Translations under cut !

????: …Hey, aren’t you gonna wake up soon?

Ran: Mm, hmm…

????: It’s bright and sunny out. You’re gonna oversleep, you know?

Ran: That’s fine by me… my class is in the afternoon…

Izumo: I see. So… we can play till the afternoon?

Ran: Play…?

Izumo: Finally awake, I see. You were out like a light.

Ran: Mm? It’s already morning…

Izumo: Still tired?

Ran: No, not really…

Izumo: It’s been a while, so you probably overdid it. Are you alright…?

Ran: Yeah, I’m alright. Just don’t stare at me too much…

Izumo: Is it because you’re embarrassed to have me lookin’ at you? Pfft- We’re in a relationship, aren’t we? And… it’s a little too late for that, don’t you think?

Izumo: Hey! Didn’t your parents ever tell you that it’s bad to throw pillows at people?

Ran: I don’t care!

Izumo: Ahh, sorry. I’ll quit teasin’ you now so look this way, please?

Izumo: Sorry for wakin’ you from your slumber, but there’s somethin’ I want to show you.

Ran: What is it?

Izumo: I think it should be over there…

Ran: K-Kusanagi-san!

Izumo: Hm? Oh, right. 

Ran: This is…

Izumo: A travel brochure for Okinawa! I’ve placed sticky notes on the places we’re gonna go to.

Izumo: Don’t you remember? You said that you wanted to go to Okinawa again someday back when you were still schooling.

Izumo: Then we both got busy, and it was hard for us to find time to do it. So… What do you think? Should we go this summer?

Ran: Sure, I’d love to! Can’t believe you remembered it…

Izumo: I’d never forget. Especially not the memories I’ve made with you.

Izumo: The slack-jawed look you gave me when I confessed to you, the sad look you had when you turned your face away when I broke up with you… and that ever-so-adorable smile of yours that never fails to my heart skip.

Izumo: I remember each and every one of these memories, but… memories are something that fades over time.

Izumo: And since that is the case, I want to make as many memories as I can with you so that I’ll never have a shortage of fond memories to look back upon.

Izumo: So much that we can tell stories about it to our grandchildren once we both turn old and withered.

Izumo: And brag to them about what a great person my wife is.

Ran: Hey, don’t count your chickens before they hatch. We’re not even married yet!

Izumo: That’s true. We’ve decided to do it after you graduate from University for the time being, but that’s still a long way off.

Izumo: I really, really, want kids right now though. Haha. So much so that it’s gettin’ a little out of hand…

Izumo: I’m sure our kids would turn out to be adorable lil’ munchkins. Aha, just the thought makes my heart feel all fuzzy. I can’t wait!

Ran: Same here ac-

Ran: Ah.

Izumo: Haha. Your stomach is demanding for its presence to be known.

Izumo: …Has your teacher never told you that it’s bad to throw brochures at others?

Ran: Nope!

Izumo: C’mon, don’t look at me like that! It’s your fault for being so cute,

Izumo: I’ll go make somethin’ light for you so wait there. Oh, right.

Izumo: I completely forgot to give you your good morning kiss.

Izumo: Morning, Ran. Love you today too.

Izumo: Today, and forever.

━━━ ∘◦ ♔END♔ ◦∘ ━━━

[poseidonsdaughterthesiren]

The Daughter of Poseidon: Chapter Two

Della pulls Jason along to meet Chiron. She glances at him every once in a while and he looks panicked. 

“You know no one is going to execute you right?” she giggles.

Jason’s face resembles a deer in headlights. He pauses by a sign. 

“You know something about who I am right? You and that Annabeth girl were very invested in my arm.” Jason’s blue eyes were full of paranoia. 

Della sighs, “Look I don’t know who you are. That mark on your arm is unusual, and you know the gods by their Roman personas.” 

Jason crosses his  arms, “How do I know this Chiron guy isn’t going massacre me?” 

“Chiron is just and fair. He won’t kill you unless you give him a reason. Now let's go I need to talk to Beth.” Della begins to walk towards the trail. 

“About that Percy kid right?” Jason doesn’t move from his spot.

“Yes,” Della sighs, “about that Percy kid.” She swallows hard holding back any feeling that tries to escape her. 

Jason has moved to the trailhead now, “Who is–”

“He’s my brother,” Della sniffs, “Let’s go.” 

They meander up the trail to the Big House. A four-story manner painted baby blue with white trim. The wraparound porch had longue chairs, a card table, and an empty wheelchair. 

“I’m not supposed to be here,” Jason said. He stands petrified on the spot. 

“It’ll be fine Jason, I’ll be here the whole time. You won’t get massacred.” 

Jasons nods. 

The sound of hoof steps came from the house and Jason straightened like a soldier at attention. 

Della smiles at the centaur on the porch, “Hey Chiron this is Jason.” 

Jason backs up so fast he almost trips. 

Chiron adorns his World's Best Centaur shirt and has his bow on his back. He ducks to avoid the porch light and starts to smile at Jason. Then the color drained from his face. 

“You…” Chiron says, “You should be dead.” 

An uncomfortable silence passes over the three of them. 

“Adella, I need to speak to Jason in private,” Chiron says. He was stiff as a board. 

Della frowns, “Are you sure I can stay if you–”

“Adella, now please.” 

Della nods and steps back from the pair. 

Jason’s face screams HELP ME! 

Della pats him on the back. Once the door clicks shut. She makes her way down the trail. 

The ring of cabins is deserted. Everyone is off doing activities to keep busy. She stops in her cabin and grabs her market bag. She shuts the door and makes her way to the lake. 

Once her feet hit the shore she slips off her sneakers and sets them to the side. The wreckage of the chariot was cleaned up. The only evidence of the event was a black smoldering mark on the sand.

Della rummages through her bag, she should clean this thing out more often. Shells from Dad–no, blue Jolly Ranchers–no, aha! Della pulls a quartz crystal and a drachma. She sets the bag by her shoes. Skillfully, Della angles it to create the smallest of rainbows she tosses the drachma and says, 

“Iris goddess of the rainbow please accept this offering. Show me Percy Jackson.” 

Nothing happens. 

Della sighs and sticks the quartz back in her bag. She should’ve known. Normally, the offering presents you with the person you’re trying to get a hold of. Ever since Perc went missing any time Della or Annabeth tried nothing happened. 

Frustration seeps into Della. She knew better than to let it fester. Fully clothed in her oversized orange shirt and cut-off shorts she slips into the lake. She swims towards the bottom. Perks of being Posedion’s kid she could breathe underwater. 

She nuzzles herself into a little spot crosses her legs and tries (key word tries) to meditate. Not achieving her goal Della opens her eyes to green mist instead of blue water. 

Free me daughter of Poseidon, or the Earth will swallow us. It must be by solstice!  A familiar older woman’s voice rang through her head, “FREE ME!” 

Della gasps awake. She wasn’t underwater anymore. No, instead she’s levitating above the middle of the lake—no sign of the green mist or the voice. There is however a crowd of campers by the lake. 

“Della!” Will yells, “Della, are you okay?” 

Is she okay? She tries to control the water to help when whatever force is holding her up decides to drop her. Before she can crash into the lake she is caught by Will. 

“You good?” Will asks. 

Della gives him a dazed look, “Chiron–I need to see Chiron. Vision, bad vision” 

Will sets her down but keeps an arm on her just in case, “Alright everybody move. Nothing to see here.” 

Della tries moving forward when her legs nearly give out. She grabs Will again.

Will swiftly scoops her up and rushes them towards the Big House. 

“Ugh, I’m never going to live this down am I?” Della asks. 

“Don’t worry Dell,” Will pants, “I’ll let you keep your dignity.” 

She focuses on staying awake. She vaguely remembers feeling like this at the Lotus. Disoriented. 

Will bangs through the doors of the Big House. 

Chiron, Annabeth, and Jason's heads all snap toward them. 

“Will? Della? What happened?” Annabeth places a hand on Della’s forehead. 

“I don’t know,” Will pants, “She was floating above the lake and then she fell. I barely caught her–then she said she needed to see Chiron–something about a vis–”

“A vision?” a unique voice said from the couch. Red hair appears in Della’s tunnel vision. Rachel. 

“Rachel?” Della croaks. She tries to roll out of Will’s arms. 

Will takes the hint and sets her on her feet. He and Annabeth both have a hand on her. 

“Will, go prep the infirmary, I need to speak to Della,” Chiron orders. 

Will slips his hand off her and dashes out the door. 

Annabeth slips Della’s arm over her shoulder for stability. 

“Chiron,” Della rasps, “Green smoke–meditating–solstice–” 

“It would seem Della has had the same vision as Ms. McLean.” 

“Huh? Piper had a vision?” 

“More like Hera hijacked Rachel who seemed to have communicated for her,” Annabeth says.

“But Della wasn’t in the cabin–” Annabeth says.

“Guys,” Jason says, “She doesn’t look too good.” 

“Della?”

Della felt her spinning like she was on the merry-go-round with Percy and their mom on the beach. Her knees buckle, and she slips out of Annabeth’s grasp on the floor. She can see him. Percy. He’s running by a freeway Riptide at the ready. “Percy? Percy, I can see you” she sighs. He just barely glances at her before the darkness swallows her like one of her father’s waves. 

[mephinomaly]

[TL] Capture Your Heart/Chapter 1

Season: Winter

Location: Cafeteria

Tomoya: Hello Hakaze-senpai. Is it alright if I sit with you?

Kaoru: Ah, Tomoya-kun. Of course, take a seat~

None of the other Ra*bits are hopping about, so is it just you today?

Tomoya: Yes. I’ve just finished a recording for a drama.

Kaoru: You’re in another drama? That makes sense for such a popular actor like yourself~♪

Tomoya: Nono, I’m not popular. A kid in the same office has gotten sick, I’m their substitute.

I was just a background character, I barely had any lines.

Kaoru: I see… So why did you replace them of all people?

Surely even a newbie to theatre could take that role, right?

Tomoya: I offered to do it. The office staff were having a panic, and I thought it would be a good experience for me.

Kaoru: Experience?

Tomoya: Working on staying in sight whilst simultaneously blending into the scene. When you don’t have a lot of lines, you can really focus on refining your technique.

It’s a great opportunity to get the directors to remember your face. It might be a small role but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take it seriously.

Aha. Sorry for just talking about myself.

Kaoru: Nah, it’s all good.

…Hm, it’s an interesting way to think about it.

I’d basically only been taking roles I’d been offered, so I didn’t realise I haven’t been getting to experience that sort of thing.

You’ve opened my eyes. Thanks, Tomoya-kun.

Tomoya: No problem… But you’re a popular guy, right Hakaze-senpai?

You were in a tennis themed drama the other day weren’t you?

Kaoru: Ahaha, you saw that? How embarrassing.

Tomoya: Why’s that? It was really really good. You were so cool as a hot-blooded club leader!

Kaoru: You think so? When Koga-kun saw me he said I was like a completely different person and laughed at me?

Tomoya: That’s surely a compliment. To seem different, to turn into someone that you’re not - isn’t that what it means to be an actor?

Kaoru: Right… You’re kind, Tomoya-kun.

They do tell me when I could improve on something, but they praise me for the most basic things. Kinda feels like they’re spoiling me.

Tomoya: It’s not just me saying good things, you know? There’s others who praise you, like Anzu-san for example.

Kaoru: Eh…Anzu-chan?

Tomoya: Yup. Actually, when we were taking a break backstage, Anzu-san and I watched it.

When the offer came in, the person who Anzu-san recommended was you. Some people were worried and thought it might be a miscast but—

If a senior was able to do it, it would be good.

Kaoru: H-huh. Right…

(I had no idea… I had doubts about the casting too. But if Anzu-chan says so…)

(I wonder if Tomoya-kun knows why she recommended me. I need to hear more.)

(...Focus man. It’ll sound super weird if I keep asking about it.)

Tomoya: Something the matter, Hakaze-senpai?

Kaoru: No, nothing’s the matter.

Uhh. Since we’re on the topic, could I ask you something about acting?

With the character I play, there’s a bit where he starts to hesitate towards the end.

Tomoya: Oh, okay yeah. I’ll be happy to help.

Time: A short time later

Kaoru: (...I’m glad I asked Tomoya-kun about that. After all it’s no good to base your acting off of someone you know.)

...

(...Why did she choose me? What did she think of my performance?)

(I didn’t end up asking Tomoya-kun… If I’m so worked up about it, I’ll just ask her directly.)

(It’s just about work. As an actor it’s totally normal to ask for others opinions, so there’s no reason for me to be self-conscious about this.)

(Huh? That voice… Anzu-chan—)

(...and Moricchi?)

Chiaki: —Hmm, is that day no good? If Anzu can’t, it must be busy…

Don’t pull that face. Sadness doesn’t suit you.

…Haha. Yup, that’s a quote from my favourite hero show.

But I do mean it. I don’t want you to worry.

It makes me happy that you take me seriously. Thanks, Anzu.

Kaoru: (What the… What’s with these vibes? Are these…good vibes?)

(I wanna know what they’re talking about, but I can’t exactly interrupt…)

(If I just back up and pretend I never saw them, I can just ask Anzu-chan another day–)

Chiaki: …Hm?

Oho, Hakaze! That’s totally Hakaze!

Kaoru: Oh God…

next

directory

[tsumugismaster]

good morning, my sweet! im so excited to talk. of course i care about you.. you’re so kind to me, and you like talking to me.. and we’re so alike. it’s so nice talking to you.. i never want it to end.

i agree! they are so so cute.. the little noises they make are adorable as well. sometimes they get a little too excited.. but that’s okay. would you really want me to do that..? if so.. i would 100% do it. whatever you ask. no matter how pathetic..

i do, i do.. maybe im not the perfect person yet, and maybe im not ready to be yours. but ill work towards it! im glad that ive interested you.. that means ive done half of the work. getting you to notice me is one part of the puzzle.. i guess i am a pretty adorable parasite. i want to just crawl into your brain and just sit in there forever.. mmmmmmmm..

being able to look at you? in tight clothes..? i would be embarrassed.. but i wouldn’t be able to keep my eyes away. just being able to see you would blow me away. aah i hope you would also want to see me… mmm, i love both of those ideas. pain as a teaching method is perfect.. i think i would respond well. and i wouldn’t mind if you got cuts all over me. as long as you’re near me. as long as you’re close.

if you gave me all of that, im sure id pass out..! i really can’t take too much love, i get so flustered and overwhelmed i cant help but giggle and stim.. its a little embarrassing. ill do my best to be the best devotee i can. id love to be covered in lipstick marks from you.. almost like a marking, showing everyone who i belong to.

i suppose you’re right.. i think that being the kind of kid i was when i was little definitely determined a lot about me now. specifically all my stuffed animals… most of them are from when i was a little kid, anyways.

oh gosh.. i really wouldn’t be able to be confident around you.. id just completely lose my footing. just imagining you grabbing my face gives me little butterflies.. i wouldn’t be able to control myself..!

mm i want to show who i am.. but im not sure if im ready. im a bit mousey.. im not very confident in myself, or anything really. so im worried that you wouldn’t like me if you knew.. maybe its easier to just see if you can find me. once you do find me, ill give you my discord for sure ❤️ id 100% consider myself a masochist. the idea of hurting someone frightens me a little. i know my normal mbti.. im an INFP. if you’d like to send me the other stuff so i can tell you, ill happily take it. im so glad that you like me.. im so so glad.

i love talking to you so much. im excited for our next conversation. thank you, my liege. ❤️ talk soon!

tossing and turning waiting for your arrival, 🐞

Mm good morning dear, how was your sleep? aah.. stop giving me butterflies you meanie.. I never want to stop talking to you either, I hope this continues till eternity.

I want to talk to you more.. can you spam my inbox please I love your attention. Do it whenever I take too long to respond..

I’d tease you for being so pathetic.. and absolutely love it at the same time. Making fun of you would be entertaining. Would you like me to bully you? To call you a pathetic loser who would do anything for me?

aha.. I’m not looking for the “perfect” person to fit all my expectations, I have some leniency. Though I’d absolutely be honored to have someone like you work for them.. effort is the most admirable thing ever. Feels nice when someone actually works hard to know about me and try to make me happy. It really means a lot. Hmm? I wonder how many small parts are still in your puzzle, even I’m hoping you’ll finish the whole thing. Whatever your goals are I trust it’s for the best.

You are a cute, adorable parasite, one I need more of. NO WHY DID EVERYTHING DELETE WHEN I SAVED IT AS A DRAFT OHMYGOD!! How perfect you are? Crawl into my mind, cling to my thoughts, and weave yourself into every fiber of my being. I’d welcome you there, let you feed on my every obsession, my every desire—because they all revolve around you. Stay nestled in my brain, forever entwined, until we’re one. Let yourself feed on me, eat away at every last bit of my reason until there’s nothing left but my devotion to you. Shouldn’t I also be a parasite to you? Eating away at your brain.. slowly consuming you whole.

Please I feel like I’d purposely come closer and literally make you look at me, stare at me. You should be allowed to see every single part of me close up.. I’d absolutely love to see you lose every single part of yourself. I would just cherish your cute little reaction to it. You in tight clothes though, I may as well take it off! no I’m kidding oh but would stare for way too long, I wouldn’t even be hiding it. I’d come closer and closer so I can see every detail.. maybe even touch, of course with your permission. I’m thinking of things I can’t share at all.. aha! You’re going to find out the rest yourself. Though if anyone else were to see you like that, I’m hiding you. I’m not allowing anyone else to see you in such a position.. it should be mine and only mine

Pain is just another form to show my love! Another way to show you I truly care about you, I would leave my mark on you, inside and out, until the pain becomes comfort and you beg for me to hurt you again. I don’t do it out of cruelty, no, but because I adore you so much it overwhelms me, feel my love in the ache of your body.. wouldn’t it feel nice? Aah.. don’t worry about me not being close. I’m like a little kid with their parent, always clinging on and tugging their clothes. I’ll stay as close as I can, always, in public or inside our own home.

But I’d love that about you! I’d absolutely adore my dear getting so flustered and overwhelmed by my love! Giggle and stim.. oh I could just laugh myself and snuggle in your neck.. mm? Really wanting to show everyone? Ah I wouldn’t mind if you showed me off. I’d try to be as amazing as I can so everyone can just wish to have a relationship like ours.. *cutely catches you when you pass out*

Lose all confidence, lose all your control. Don’t control yourself, do whatever your heart desires, I’m here to fulfill them aren’t I? Mm.. I wonder what things you think of us doing.

Take all the time you need, I’ll be waiting patiently. If I knew a specific something I wouldn’t like you? I doubt that.. I’ve went through my fair share of weird shit when finding partners. I definitely love a challenge.. I shall find you then! I hope your tumblr account isnt hard to find.. Give me a few hints can you?

Would you like me to hurt you then? Throw you on the ground, step on you and bruise you on the floor? All bloodly and drooling with saliva? Ooh.. you’d look adorable but I would just then pick you up, kiss you and heal you as much as I can. Whisper promises in your ear like the world is about to end.

Ah I know it’s on my side blogs my yandere mbti’s so if you want to see that you can. You already know I’m an ENFP. I’m just searching up but damn there’s so much fanart for enfp’s and infp’s together.. there is this quiz for yandere enneagram. Most people say it’s accurate to point and it gives me a better idea who you are; and what you want.

god I keep misplacing my phone and forgetting where I put it the moment I put it down..apologies..

I’m happy too.. so happy that I can’t describe it in words. I can’t wait for the next time. Apologies this took very long.. a lot of things happened today. How was your sleep dear? Hope it was good. “My liege” god I fucking love that.. waah why am I smiling so hard you’re so mean..

waiting patiently for you my dearest ladybug..

[astardanced-underthatwasiborn]

I am suspicious when he starts with something I can relate to. I also sometimes turn the wrong way! I also had a weird teacher who gave me specific rules for writing! This must be a normal, straightforward *realistic* plot. I see you Gaiman. Can’t trick me this time!

Hey I also live in IL now. I had to Google Decatur though.

I have never seen ovaltine in person so why do I think I know how it tastes?

“That’s where it all begins” aha! Have I caught the switch between my world and the fantasy this time?

Don’t split up and walk into the weird fog please.

I thought he was clever for the money in the shoe bit. I guess listening to your mom is smart still.

Ok the change wasn’t a subtle as Im used to. I don’t feel tricked so that’s okay.

Ooh I wasn’t expecting that to be what came out of the rip.

(Im technically working right now or I wouldn’t be stopping so much while reading)

Yep. No I take it back. I didn’t see any of this coming. I thought it was just a slightly alternate dimension with weird a McDonald’s

What’s with the Js?

Ok wait but why didn’t the mom recognize him?

Did he learn to explicitly give permission to pee the hard way? 😂

I wish my tattoos did that.

He will power them? Is this like the whale ship in doctor who? 😭

Another Harker? Or another Joey Harker?

💇‍♂️ and 👆are not the same ma’am.

Oh I REALLY wish my snake tattoo could do that. (It’s a nod to Crowley, so it’s (deep down) a nice snake)

Stopping here. I usually read too fast and analyze later. Trying to take my time with this and not just finish it in one go.

I’m back already because the real world is sad and I have no self control when it comes to a good book.

This book isn’t exactly happy though either

Oh. It is like the space whale.

Ok duh. That’s why mom didn’t know him but teacher did. Fair enough.

Not me wondering why this was published in 2007 and the teenager somehow knows who Errol Flynn is…. I was a teenager in 2007 & know Errol Flynn is. That’s not even wibbly wobbly. Kid just likes old movies.

See. I somehow went from a-hah! Odd mist leads to an alternate universe is a little odd to just accepting a boundless bright colored plane with things made of yellow. Snuck up on me a bit.

Why do I want a pet mudluff now?

The enemy’s gate is down.

That’s not better alcohol. That’s just drugs.

Yeah. The something is he’s you.

Star Trek forever and always has done it first.

He hasn’t heard them say hocus pocus - they something about bananas gorillas and nutmeg. They’re professionals.

13? (I looked that up. Sorry)

Duh.

Sir. You are too young to know how a filling feels when it falls out. Brush your teeth kids! (Seriously wish I had been better at that when I was young)

Is squid a J too?

Again. Duh.

Don’t get lost again

Not a dream. Great idea. Why don’t they do that already?!

Managed to keep myself busy enough tonight to not finish it at once. I’m glad it’s a trilogy though. Doesn’t seem like enough pages left

Are these even real words? Some must be fake right?

It’s probably 13. Just a guess.

Umm…here’s the thing about octopi…

Not me getting mad at the pity party like I don’t talk to myself the same way. Well played.

Uhmm. What did he do wrong??

Ok but I love printing tricks like that. Adds to the story.

KEVIN?!?!

Now I definitely want a pet mudluff!

I am begging you to brush your teeth here.

🤞 wibbly wobbly 🤞🤞

Should have made him do a thank you dance

FREE WILLY!

Nope. Too creepy. Die already

⚖️ though?

Hmm. Odd but not wrong.

I’d say it would make a good show but they’d ruin it by focusing on the special effects.

This was weird for me. I usually plow through books. Even though this took me less than a day it was kind of fun to write down my thoughts as I went. Will have to do this again.

Season 2 wasn’t the happy little escapism show I thought it would be. Got myself a new Neil Gaiman book to take the hurt away. (Yes new to ME, not in general. I’ve been saving the rest of his works for when I really need it).

[gunthermunch]

[Transcript under the cut]

Lucas: ELSA we should camp outside like when we were little!!!! Elsa: oh my god yes! Do you still have that big tent? Lucas: yeah!! I plan to hand it over to my kids one day, it’s not going anywhere Elsa: where is it! Pierce: twinning Max: no. Pierce: wait, Max Max: I’m too tired for whatever you want to talk about Pierce: It's about Lucas Max: what about him? Pierce: i just wanted to ask what's up with your texts from last night, 'cos he showed me and… Max: oh so now i can't text my friend without you being there- hold on. YOU were here last night?¡!! Pierce: come on, not this. Pierce: let me finish. all i want is for you two to be okay, get it? Max: scoff why? Pierce: we are friends and I'm a peace enthusiast. Max: you're super lame Pierce: for trying to avoid unnecessary trouble, miscommunication and encourage healthy boundaries? Max: what miscommunication? Pierce: simply don't be cryptic. you confuse him, for real. Max: I’m not cryptic. Pierce: "lucas. lucas. lu cas. pickuppickupickup" and a lot of yelling in caps. Max: that's normal. Pierce: Max. Lucas: GUYS i found our old boom box!! Max: just leave it to me okay?? I’ll talk to him, explain even. Gosh Pierce: hallelujah

Elsa: hey… sooo Elsa: do we have anything edible? Or just energy drinks and cookies? Pierce: we can pull an all nighter breakfast Lucas: mhm! Max: all of this is edible, idiot. Elsa: we are not pulling an all nighter breakfast. let's just order something Lucas: …Max. Max: don’t even look at me, Luna cut off all my credit card extensions ‘’for good’’. Lucas: um. none of us have enough money, right? Elsa: empty Pierce: nada Lucas: then i guess we'll have to… cook. Elsa: sorry Lucas but you're a terrible cook and i'm not eating anything you make. Pierce: yeah um aha sorry but no Elsa: we are taking the grill, whishing you two the best of lucks. Max: so… Max: pasta? Lucas: pasta!

[hyenahunt]

Bankara Graffiti: We Who Never Learn - 3

Writer: Akira

Season: Winter

Characters: Kohaku, Hiyori, Tatsumi, Jun

Proofreading: Remy (JP) & honeyspades (ENG)

Translation: hyenahunt

Jun: The reason we jumped you just now was also 'cause we had to enact "getting the transfer student's cocky ass".

Kohaku: I see, I see. Alright, reckon I've 'bout gotten it all down now.

Hiyori: Really? Well, aren’t you clever, Kohaku-kun! What a good boy you are ♪

Kohaku: Lay off the hair pettin'. I may be small but I ain't a kid, y'know.

Hiyori: Aha, but the more you say you aren’t a child, the more you seem like one! Jun-kun was just like you when we first met —

Kohaku: This ain't quite the place to be waxin' poetic 'bout yer past. I mean, we're still in the middle of filmin', right?

Tatsumi: Indeed. From what I heard, there are around a dozen concealed cameras installed in this classroom alone.

Kohaku: Aw maaan, I don't wanna be in this kinda school.

It's a world away from the sort of thing I was expectin'... Plus I feel on edge bein' filmed the whole time. It's hard ta relax.

Hiyori: Well, isn't it for the best that we maintain this air of tension?

Since you're a beginner at this kind of work, Kohaku-kun, the pressure is sure to help you deliver a better performance.

Kohaku: 'S that right... Puttin' that aside, we just gotta earn as much MP as we can in this Bankara Academy, yeah?

Jun: Yep, you got it. Every now and then some kinda typical school life event's gonna crop up, and we gotta take part in 'em each time while acting as manly as possible.

By doing that, we'll earn Manliness Points — or MP.

Kohaku: Even if we get 'em, what're they good for?

Tatsumi: Every round, you'll earn cash or prizes in accordance to how much MP you have.

Haha, perhaps if I strike it rich, I'll treat everyone in ALKALOID to some souvenirs.

Jun: Oh, and MP decreases at set intervals, so if you don't keep earning 'em you'll get kicked out of school, got it~?

Kohaku: Aw maaan, I don't wanna be in a school with this kinda system~

Tatsumi: Haha. It's just like the system at ES, isn't it?

Kohaku: Can't argue with that... I presume it ain’t no laughin’ matter fer us nor you ALKALOID fellas, huh?

Tatsumi: Indeed. We'd certainly like an end to being at the mercy of numbers, wouldn't we, Crazy:B?

Kohaku: Hm. Speaking of which, how d'ya earn MP in the first place?

Tatsumi: Well, the manlier you act, the more you earn.

Incidentally, you can get a vague idea of what exactly counts as manly for these circumstances by reading the seventy-four volumes of the original Bankara Academy manga.

Kohaku: Wha — Bankara Academy's based on an original work!?

Tatsumi: Yes. It seems that the original manga was extremely popular, so its setting served as the inspiration for this Bankara Academy show.

Of course, the original serialisation ended a long time ago. At one point in time, its name was synonymous with delinquent manga — that's the level of fame it had.

Jun: Ah, and there’s even a spinoff series going on too, y'know? Or maybe it's more of a remake — it's a series called Haikara Academy, and it's set in a girls' high school.

Seems like the reason the Bankara Academy show got revived in the first place is 'cause that’s gotten so popular.

Kohaku: Hmm~... I had no idea, not that I really care fer that kinda thing.

Jun: Since you're so internet-savvy, Sakura-kun, I thought you'd be more into what kids these days usually like. You mean you're not a big fan of manga?

Kohaku: Well, it's not like I dislike it. I just don't wanna hafta deal with violence and bloodshed even when I’m lookin’ at fictional stuff, see.

But anyway, are we just here t' earn MP? What about normal classes or club activities? Ain't we gonna do any of that?

Jun: Ahh, I think some of the regular events we're gonna have to do'll be something along those lines~

Stuff like "run away from the disciplinary officer", or "break up a fight between the soccer and baseball clubs".

The reason we jumped you just now was also 'cause we had to enact "getting the transfer student's cocky ass".

Kohaku: Aw maaan, I don't wanna be in a school like this.

Hiyori: Well, it wouldn't be quite accurate to describe this as entirely staged, but it's not real, either, so you don't have to be on guard to this extent.

Just treat it as an attraction where you get to experience a delinquent manga, and have some fun ♪

Kohaku: But I don't wanna have that kinda experience... Honest to God I don't...

Well, I guess things’ll be okay. I'll be able to do all that proper school life stuff once I start attendin' a real high school, I reckon.

Tatsumi: Oh? In other words, do you mean everyone in Crazy:B will be returning to school?

I did hear from HiMERU-san while working together in COMP that he'd be returning to his studies as well.

Kohaku: Well, fer now it's gonna jus' be me an' Himeru-han.

Rinne-han's already a geezer gettin' on in his years, and I dunno if Niki-han even wants to go to school — since there's the issue of both his academic ability an' his constitution, right?

Anyhow, t'was with that in mind I took on this job, thinkin' it could be somethin' of a rehearsal fer it... but who'd have thought it'd actually be chock full of such no-brained nonsense.

Tatsumi: Haha. It seems to me that once you get used to it, you'll have more fun than you expect.

Jun: Right? Personally, I prefer this by a long shot to the usual pain-in-the-ass studying.

Kohaku: Don'cha go to school because you wanna study?

Hiyori: That may be true, but that's not all there is to them. And I believe that's precisely the aspect of this that our audience will want to see.

Kohaku: Philosophisin' away 'bout life, are ya? Well, I don't really get it, but alright.

After all, if any of us in Crazy:B make a mess outta anythin' again, that'll be the end of us even thinking 'bout going back to school...

So I'm gonna put my whole heart in an' give it my best shot.

Hiyori: That's the spirit! Go, go, Transfer Student-kun, you can do it... ♪

Jun: Ah, looks like we've got the next event on our hands~! There's the sound of bikes roaring outside the window — who knows, maybe some thugs from another school are gatecrashin' in to raid us!?

Kohaku: Aw maaan, this school's seriously the last place I ever wanna be!

✦✦✦✦✦

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[artzee-bee]

End of all things [1] | Chat Noir x witch!reader

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug (Adrien Agreste/Chat Noir)

Summary: Y/N had been Chat Noir’s friend and moral support for a long time now. Even though she had magical powers too, she never liked getting involved with akuma attacks, but now, as Hawkmoth’s gotten control of the miraculous of creation, she couldn’t stay indiferent anymore. She had to save her friend and Paris!

Genre: Mostly angst? A little fluff

Warnings: canon typical violence, mentions of death/dying

A/N: This was requested, but as I was writting it, it got very long and I’ve decided to post it in 2 parts. I’m not gonna post the request just now, so as to not spoil the rest of the story but Part 2 will be coming out on friday!!!

Part 2

~~~

Chat was pacing around the room, waiting for you to be done with your potion. You had heard from your parents that there had been a new akuma attack today, but as the news reported, the two parisian heros took care of the problem in no time. For this reason, Chat’s presence at your house felt unusual. Normally he would stop by when he needed to rant, when he was in need of comfort and reassurance but the fight today went well, so what could possibly be bothering him?

“Ok, I’m done” you said, screwing the cap on the little bottle and placing it on your shelf “Wanna talk?” you asked, to which Chat gave you a shy smile

“Yeah, a little”

You made your way to your bed, motioning for him to follow you. You got under your covers and passed him his favorite plushie, a cat to no one’s surprise

“So what’s up? Is it about the fight today?”

“Well no it’s more like a...personal problem?”

“Oh…”

“Claws out” in a rush of light and electricity, the infamous hero vanished before you, transforming into Adrien Agrest

“Well, what is it?” 

Adrien revealed his identity to you months ago. You first met him as Chat, but when you really got to know each other, he decided you needed to know all of him. Well, he needed you to know all of him.

You listened to him rant until way past midnight. Until you were both too tired to stand up straight, so you laid down in your bed, covers up to your necks, muffled stories told in between yawns. You listened carefully, giving him your full attention. He fidgeted with the collar of the stuffed toy and you used your magic to make 2 hot chocolates. Eventually, everything that needed to be said, was said. You offered Adrien to watch a movie, since that always cheered him up, but he refused

“It’s late and I have a photoshoot early in the morning. My makeup team will be angry with my dark circles anyways, better not make it worse” he joked

Adrien transformed back into Chat and you cast a safety spell on him, which you did every time he left your house late at night. He always teased you about being ‘too protective’, but deep down he found it sweet how much you cared and wanted to know that he would get home in one piece.

“Night Chat” you said, wrapping your arms around the hero

“Good night Y/N!”

The next few days went by quietly. You hadn’t run into Adrien at all, but you texted a bit back and forth. Sunday evening however, things took a toll for the worst. You turned on your tv, ready to catch up with your show when you heard Nadja Chamack’s voice doing the news report

“It seems as though Rena Rouge and Chat Noir are struggling to stay on their feet! They have taken shelter under a fallen bus, leaving Ladybug alone to defeat Hawkmoth'' your pulse skyrocketed. As you watched the screen you could see Chat and Rena off to the side, struggling to catch their breath. Rena seemed to be in pain while Chat was trying to help. Ladybug was using her yoyo the best she could in order to protect herself from the supervillain, who was wielding his cane like a sword over her head. The fight was clearly going in Hawkmoth's favour! You grabbed your jacket and ran out the front door and onto the empty streets of Paris, towards the Eiffel Tower, where the fight was taking place. 

People screamed at you from their balconies to go home, warning you about the fight and the danger you were putting your life in but you didn’t care. All you could think about was how they needed you. Chat needed you! Every late night talk and every inside joke shared between you two replaid in your head like a broken record. Behind Chat’s tough mask, his alter ego of hero and protector, was the fragile figure of Adrien Agreste. The young blonde boy who cried during romantic comedies, who liked to have his hair braided and forgot how to speak when someone complimented him. If you didn’t help, the heros would loose and he would most likely die! Alongside Ladybug and Rena who, even though you didn’t know their real identities, were still young girls. As you ran down the street, you heard kids crying inside one of the homes. You ran past but at the last second you heard Nadia’s voice coming from their tv

“Ladybug was akumatized”

You approached the Eiffel tower from the side, where you could see everything going on. In front of the tower, right next to Hawkmoth, stood Marinette Dupain-Cheng, dressed in a tight, dark red suit, darker than Ladybug’s. Black butterflies replaced the dots of the heroine's suit and the purple butterfly mask of Hawkmoth’s control was shining over her face. Marinette was Ladybug! She did, in fact, get akumatized. On the other side, you saw Rena and Chat, struggling to stay up right. They were obviously in a lot of pain and extremely tired, but Hawkmoth was merely mocking them.

“After all this time” Chat spoke up, but his breaths were shallow and rapid “I thought you’d know one thing about us! We don’t give up without a fight. Never will. Especially not against you” and with that, the two ran at each other.

“It doesn’t have to end like this, you know?” he said “We don’t have to fight to death. I wouldn’t want to have that on my conscience. All you have to do is give me your miraculouses willingly. The town will be safe, you will be safe! It’s the most heroic option you’ve got. You won’t be any good to Paris if you are dead”

You knew this was not just another fight between them. This was it. Either the heros won or everything they’ve worked for would be lost. Hawkmoth would win and get his hands on both miraculous and god knows what kind of destruction that would bring not only upon Paris, but the world. You focused all your energy in one spot in the air, right between where Chat and Hawkmoth were supposed to clash but before they could reach each other, you sent a wave of energy that blew both of them apart, like a bomb. Hawkmoth flew back into the Eiffel tower while Chat hit the pavement with a thud. Confused and certainly disturbed, both of them began looking around for an answer as to what happened when, finally, Hawkmoth’s eyes landed on yours.

“Aha, miss Y/L/N. What a spectacular honor to finally meet you!” you didn’t reply, instead you stood tall, maintaining eye contact

“I know a lot about you. Seen a lot. Felt a lot of your emotions. None of them can compare to the powers I’ll have with the two miraculouses. With Ladybug’s earrings and the guardian under my control, I’d say my mission here is almost over’’

“Y/N get back!’’ Chat screamed but you were too involved now to run. This was your fight too.

“It is time you give up Hawkmoth. Paris is not yours, neither are the miraculouses. We will destroy you, no matter what it takes!”

“Listen to yourself, kid! <<Destroy me>>? The most you can do is pull a rabbit out of your hat…” before he could finish his sentence, you snapped your fingers in his direction and instantly, the ground around beneath Hawkmoth and akumatized Marinette, fractured. From within the cracks, many tangled plants came out, encapsulating the 2 villains. You sprinted towards Chat and Rena, ignoring the signs of struggle coming from the prison of weeds.

 Alongside the two superheros, you hid inside a corner coffee shop, which was now empty.

“Y/N, you need to leave!! You are putting yourself in too much danger!” Rena told you, as she collapsed to the ground from exhaustion

“Stop with that already! I am here and I’m not going anywhere!”

“Yes you are!” Chat looked at you. His voice was calm and yet, his eyes were filled with disappointment “You are not a superhero. This is our job!”

“You need help”

“No we don’t!” Chat had never, in all your years of friendship, raised his voice at you, let alone yell “ You need to stay safe! You could die! Hawkmoth doesn’t care about anything if it helps him get what he wants! I am ready to take that risk. Rena is too” you both turned to the red headed hero, only to see her slowly nod “But I can’t allow you to take it”

“You can’t tell me what to do”

“I don’t want you to die!” he screamed again “I love you and I will never forgive myself if you don’t come out of this alive!”

Before you could say anything, you saw Hawkmoth and his minion, through the cafe window, cutting through the last of the plants and escaping your trap. You grabbed Chat’s arm and pulled him to the floor, from where you could not be seen

“We’re in this together now” you said in a stern voice, looking the blonde kid right in his eyes “Whether you like it or not '' this time, he simply nodded.

You stuffed your hands into the pocket of your jacket and pulled out 3 little bottles, containing a mate, green liquid. You had prepared one for each of the heros, now you’d only need two.

“Here, drink this!” You handed each of them one “Regeneration potion. Should put you back on your feet.” as soon as they finished drinking the brew, you could see color coming back to their faces

“Where’s Marinette’s akuma??” 

“Her necklace” replied Rena “It’s a gift from her kwami”

“Got it. You deal with Hawkmoth. I’ll bring Marinette back!”

Chat and Rena exited through the front door, grabbing Hawkmoth’s attention. He called out to Marinette to attack, but before she could take a single step in your direction, you had snuck up behind her. Using a simple invisibility spell, you managed to exit unnoticed behind the two heros. It finally felt like the fight had truly begun. From the corner of your eye you could see Chat and Rena doging Hawkmoth’s attacks while you, were doing your best to get your hands on the stupid necklace! Even though she couldn’t see you, Marinette seemed to almost always know what your next move was. She would expertly block all your attack and would keep you an arm’s length away at all times. Finally, you had enough and in one swift motion, you pinned her back to your chest, ripping the necklace away. A wave of black and purple took over the both of you and when it vanished, all you were left with was a half unconscious Marinette in your arms. You dropped her to the ground slowly as she was coming back to her senses. You wanted to talk to her but your thoughts were driven away as you heard Chat scream bloody murder.

On the opposite side of the platza, you saw Hawkmoth rip Chat’s ring off his finger, forcing him to detransform. The exhausted figure of Adrien Agreste fell to the ground with a thud. Hawkmoth had, indeed, gotten his hand on both the miraculouses.

[hwkhs]

MSBY seeing their spouse & kid at a game

summary: the players have a big game coming up and you told them that you and your kid couldn’t make it because of (generic excuse), but little did he know you guys were just in the stands waiting for him to notice

characters: hinata shouyou, bokuto koutarou, miya atsumu, & sakusa kiyoomi x gn!reader

warnings: post-timeskip so spoilers!

style & genre: headcannons; fLUFF, JUST WHOLESOME, DOMESTIC FLUFF

notes: i saw other people doing this and i wanted to do a take of it too & i’ve told myself that all i’m going to publish without a request is self-indulgent i have no shame, enjoy!

Hinata Shouyou

you told him you had an important business meeting that day and your daughter had an impromptu ballet lesson a stretch but he believed it

he was understanding but you could tell that he was kinda bummed

it’s the day of the game and he’s warming up with his teammates when you and your daughter snag a seat towards the front row

it is just in his peripherals if he looks there but he is pretty focused since it’s a game against the adlers

your and your daughter are sporting his jersey and you can see the sparkles in her eyes as she watches her dad warm-up

wait till she sees him actually play it’s so cute

the game starts and hinata opens it up with a quick, set by atsumu

you and your daughter cheer loudly and hinata turns to smile at the crowd, his eyes almost bulging out of their sockets when he sees you two

he is so ecstatic and now that he knows you’re both there he plays even better

after the game he runs up to the two of you and hugs you both tight, the smile on his face never faltering

when the interviewers come to ask him questions, he hoists his daughter to sit on his shoulders as he talks animatedly about the match while she plays with his hair

everyone watching thinks it’s adorable, this daddy-daughter duo

“i felt even more fired up! why? well, it’s because my spouse and daughter are here!”

Bokuto Koutarou

HE WAS SO SAD AWWW

like you physically felt your heart hurt when his hair flopped down

he was looking forward to seeing you and your guys’ son at the game so he could have a boost to his energy and confidence

the team notices the slight change in his mood but he told them before--he’s not the same ace he was in high school so he wouldn’t let it affect his playing too much

little did he know hehe

your son is bouncing excitedly in your lap as he waits to see his dad

he is normally pretty bad at keeping secrets so it was surprising he faked a sad expression when he had to tell his dad he had schoolwork to finish

it’s preschool and hw is nonexistent but bokuto doesn’t need to know that

right when bokuto exits the hall to be seen by the crowd, your soon immediately perks up

“Dad!!”

bokuto’s, i kid you not, his hair straightens up and his head whips over to you two

he can tell your voices from a mile away and a large smile spreads across his face

“hey hey hey!! you guys are here!”

he has a game to play so he doesn’t run over to you two as much as he wants to

he’s playing so well and when the opponents saw you they already knew they were done for power of family amirite haha

when the game ends, he’s scooping both of you up in his arms and pressing kisses onto your faces, telling you how happy he is that you guys actually made it

Miya Atsumu

a hit to his ego aHA

he wanted to show off his skillz to you and the twins but no

you and the kids went to visit your parents you told atsumu that you guys might not make the game because you’d be coming home late

you guys actually made it back in time for the game so you drove to the game venue

you saw osamu in the front and he waves you down, giving the twins onigiri which they take gratefully

“he was sulking when he got here”

“really?”

“yeah, what a baby”

“i know, right?”

in the distance, atsumu sneezes

you guys find a seat pretty close to the front and the twins at this point are excited

they actually liked watching their dad play on tv and never really saw him play up close

you’re son wasn’t much of a yeller but during the entire game he was cheering along with his sister who was cheering every time atsumu touched the ball

you think he didn’t see you three but when the game ends, he walks right past the interviewer right to you guys

“how’d i do?” he has that infamous smirk on his face and you roll your eyes as your kids cheer at his legs

“you were so cool, papa!”

“yeah! the ball was like fwoosh! and boom!”

his expression softens when he carries them both with ease in each arm and he leans to press a kiss to your lips

the remaining crowd is in love with the sight of him answering questions with two kids dangling off his arms

Sakusa Kiyoomi

he’s nonchalant on the outside but kinda sad on the inside when you tell him that you were feeling under the weather and wanted to stay home

you told him you and your son were going to watch the game online so you guys really wouldn’t be missing anything

he also doesn’t trust anyone else to bring his son because germs

you made sure to takes extra precautions so your son was dressed with a mask matching one his father usually wore

all three of you liked to stay clean, though you and your son weren’t as extreme as sakusa

the seats you guys got was far from the front because your son didn’t like to be near a lot of people, but he could still see his dad

you could feel him shift and yelp as he was in your lap every time sakusa spiked the ball

he’s a pretty quiet kid so this was a little surprising to you

he was cheering in his own way awww

you had sakusa’s pass so you and your son could go on the court and see him

he does the unexpected and practically jumps out of your arms, running to his dad

hinata and bokuto see him first and try to approach him, but one glare from sakusa has them backing off

he has a look of surprise on his face seeing you guys there but the smile on yours is enough to have him do it back

he wanted to change before holding your son but he was insistently tugging on his uniform until sakusa picked him up

your son wasn’t one with words, so he pulled down his mask and kissed his dad on the cheek before throwing his arms around his neck

“OMI-OMI THAT’S SO SOFT”

“shut the hell up” he covered your son’s ears dw

[timbertumbr]

Ello!! :D If possible. Request: Lego! Monkie Kid - MK has a little crush on a frequent customer of Pigsy's Noodles. Our boy tries to show off to them and how cool and smooth he can be. (you know, the guy trying to impress his crush thing).

Cliche (MK X Reader) Requested

MK was working his shift like normal when you came in right on schedule.

"Heya Y/N, the usual?" Pigsy asks, knowing you were a regular like Tang. Except you pay for your noodles instead of trying to weasel out of paying.

"Mhm! Thank you Mr. Pigsy, hey MK, hey Mr. Tang!" You greeted, making MK flush, squeak and rush into the kitchen to "finish" cleaning the dishes while you raised an eyebrow confused but slightly amused.

"Don't mind him. He's just being MK," Tang reassures before taking a bite out of his noodles. You nod and go to your usual table, taking out your notes for your recent creative project.

Meanwhile, MK was pacing in the kitchen with Mei watching and listening to his panicked rambling.

"-and they're just SOOO cute when they're concentrating on their projects! Look! They're doing it right now!" He gestures to your table through the little kitchen window, Mei raises a brow with an amused grin.

"Sounds to me like you have a crush on them, MK," MK turns to Mei, surprised.

"I WHAT?!" MK yells, echoing out into the dining area which startled you while Tang continued to eat his noodles like this was a common occurrence.

"Calm down, it's not like it's the end of the world or anything," MK's pacing increased.

"Well it may as well be because I have NO clue how to ask people out!" Mei sighs.

"It's not that hard, I-"

"Wait… what if I flirt with them to see if they like me back! Yes! It's fool-proof! Thanks Mei!" MK runs out of the kitchen before Mei could say a word. Mei sighs and shakes her head before walking out to the dining area to watch the action go down.

You stick your tongue out in concentration editing and adding to your notes as MK ever so slowly approaches you with your order. As soon as he's close, he clears his throat and places the order gently by your notes.

"Oh! Thank you!" You beam, smiling at MK before going back to your notes. MK stands there awkwardly, thinking of a way to transition to flirting.

"Uh… hey, umm…" You look up at MK with a raised brow, well it was now or never…

"K-Know what's on the menu? M-Me-and-U…" He mutters out, an amused smile crawls across your face as the silence blankets the room.

"E-Enjoy your food," He swiftly exits the scene and slips back into the kitchen.

"I'M A FAILURE!" MK yells, Pigsy peeking into the kitchen to see a depressed MK leaning on the wall.

"Oh for Pete's sake, what the heck happened?" Pigsy asks annoyed, Mei sighs.

"He thinks he made a fool out of himself by trying to flirt with Y/N," Pigsy blinks in surprise and looks between MK and you, finishing up your notes.

"Oh jeez kid, Um… I don't know how to say thi-"

"Excuse me?" You politely cut Pigsy off from the front counter.

"Can I see MK please?" MK.exe has stopped responding. Mei pokes MK and he immediately goes to the front counter to get this over with. He looks you in the eye, flushing with embarrassment and from just seeing your amazing smile.

"Hey, it seems I've lost my phone number, can I have yours?" You ask with a sly smirk, offering your phone to him. His eyes light up, looking between you and your phone trying to see if it was really okay. With a chuckle, you nod.

MK gasps and gently takes your phone and quickly adds his number before returning your phone to you.

"Thanks. Are you free at 9 tomorrow?"

"Aha… A.M. or P.M?" You chuckle.

"A.M. silly, see ya tomorrow MK," You say before turning around and leaving. MK stares in shock before his phone buzzes. He pulls it out and sees what's on the screen.

Unknown Number: ;) (This is Y/N btw)

"YeeeeEEEESSSSSS! I'M THE MASTER OF FLIRTING! HAHA!" Little did MK know that you heard everything, he wasn't exactly being subtle about how loud he was being.

[johnemulaney]

John Mulaney: From Scratch in Las Vegas, September 4

Once again, spoilers for the show and what will presumably be in the special. This is about his relapse so tread with caution is that will be an issue for you. However, the tone of his struggle is the same one he used in his past specials so if you didn’t have any issues then, I think you’d be ok with this. Of course, use your own best judgement, friends.

The opener was Seaton Smith. 

He opened with trying to find the rich people in the crowd but acknowledged that they’d go mwrmwmwrw money isn’t everything so then he started talking about golf and went aha I got ya’ll. 

There was a joke about weed being the only Christian drug

He had a bit about when white people are nice, be nervous

He had a bit about there being a black man on the Bachelor and was like America (ABC and Disney+) were not ready for a black man to be fucking a house full of 50 white women. That shit premiered on Tuesday and the Capitol burned on Wednesday.

He also did some crowd work and roasted a couple in the front row for having different answers about kids and she was like I didn’t hear the question and was roasted about how not hearing questions you don’t want to answer is certainly a tactic, often used by drug dealers

He also had a bit about how different child rearing is in Texas versus New York and about how hitting your kids is treated differently, like his dad would have just threatened it whimsically. 

Now on to the Main Event!

The first thing he said was “hiiiiiiiiii” exactly in the tone you think he said it in. he followed that up with a little shrug looking adorable and a little bashful

“It’s him! Mr. Problems. Oh Las Vegas, Oh my god” he then talks about how Vegas is a land of vice and a Choice for him to preform in as a recovering addict. He had a sober buddy and 3 bodyguards with him at all times. 

“And here’s what happened” December 18, 2020, he gets invited to a friends apartment for dinner AND HE’S TWO HOURS LATE because he stopped, coked out of his mind, at SNL for a haircut because he still had his building access badge and he went to the hair department and they were like, he’ll leave faster if we just do this, and then he stopped at his drug dealers. 

He called venmo and cashapp, apps for drug deals and was like what do normal people even use them for. He maxed both out paying for drugs. 

He was the best looking person at his intervention. “Coke skinny, new cut” and the 12 people intervening looked like shit. He looked “tears for fears while they all looked jerry garcia” (I hope you know who those musicians are besties). 

He immediately yelled “Can I go to the bathroom” to you know, dump his drugs because when you walk into that, you know what it is. 

He was not allowed to go (he would be asked if he still needed to pee later and would say “what?”

There were 6 people in NYC and 6 people over zoom in LA because he guesses 6 people couldn’t be bothered to fly in for HIS INTERVENTION

Interventions can go two ways, it can be kind of accusatory and this is how you let us all down, or it can be supportive. Everyone but Nick Kroll got the memo to be supportive.

Nick Kroll went first.

Nick Kroll listed all the ways John was a bad best friend and brother over zoom and John was getting texts during the intervention saying Nick wasn’t supposed to do that and they were all sorry. 

Bill Hader went next. he originally wasn’t going to be able to make it so he had recorded a thing but since he was there, he did it live. (He would eventually send the video to John in rehab, which is not what you want on the way to rehab “awesome, more intervention”)

He tried to derail the intervention, “there’s not enough latinx representation” he said he’d go to any rehab except the one they had picked out for him. This was a star-studded affair and he was mad no one was being funny. 

 Natasha Lyons went next, telling him his life and career is in shambles

So he gets carted off to rehab after this intervention. Don’t let 12 comedians pack your bags for 2 months at rehab. it was bombas socks and iphone chargers. 

A little secret about rehab, you’re not allowed to bring drugs in. You remember how he was late? In his pocket on the way to rehab included: a huge amount of pills, 3g of coke (which was 2g by the time he got there, courtesy of a koala station in a gas station bathroom), and $2000 in cash. He had other plans for the weekend. He was admitted for xanax, coke, perocet, and adderall addiction. Say what you will, but he does not do anything half way.

It’s 4am when he’s sent to detox, he’s been awake for 3 days. 

He also gives a small lesson on how to get drugs. Find the lowest rated doctors on yelp and webmd reviews and go ask for them, they need all the business they can get. You become like Captain Phillips, I am the doctor now. 

Dr. Michael was his shady doctor. He was a first avenue apartment where he would write prescriptions from his kitchenette where his girl Minerva was always asleep. “I didn’t kill my wife Minerva.” But John would ask for his drugs, Dr. Michael would write the script and then ask what he needed it for. Dr. Michael would also make John take his shirt off, always offering a flu shot and going no, shirt all the way off (in case you were wondering how bad this addiction actually was)

The first moral is now you know. The second moral is get vaccinated.

He’s sent to the regular ward the next afternoon and they finally get him to sleep. 

He’s sketched out that doctors have last names at this establishment

He asks for drugs such as klonopin and is taken aback a bit when he doesn’t get them. The doctor is like PA state law says no, and so John suggests they go to a CVS in Jersey to get some. 

His bestie Pete Davidson starts calling that night. Except Pete changes his number every month and a half so John has him send a selfie and saves the new number under some other random name, at this point in time, Pete is saved as Al Pacino. (We get an Al Pacino impression) John is asleep and his nurse sees Al Pacino trying to call him 5 times and so she wakes him up. 

Pete Davidson and John Mulaney did not do drugs together. (The author is lowkey surprised and sad about that, like if Pete was my bestie, we’d make so many poor choices) But Pete was always very supportive of his sobriety. 

John needs recognition so badly, in group when they introduced themselves he said “I’m John M.” and no one cared. So he left a tabloid out with the news of his admittance and his face on it in the rec room on the table. The not being someone was “driving him bananas.” When they talked about what they do for a living and he said I’m a a stand up comedian, someone asked if he made a living that way. He said “yeah ask your daughter” (or your son)

One of the things you do at rehab is break up with your drug dealer.

One of his drug dealers only bought drugs to keep John from buying worse off the streets and only got into the game because John kept asking him for drugs and was his only buyer. That guy was originally a painter and John has no idea how they met. John is the only person to turn an innocent man into a drug dealer. 

Here he did the Baby J is back baby joke. the Park Theater is one of the biggest stages in the world so he did that joke in one pace across the stage and said the stage is that joke long. 

“I am no longer on drugs. It’s very good but also ah---” He’s in a 12 step anonymous group. 

“I need attention, clearly.” After a show you think he would be sated, but no. 

He wants that attention that the kid who’s grandparent died and showed up to school dressed for the funeral and got to sit in the beanbag chair for reading despite it not being his turn, gets. He went on about being willing to let one of the lesser important grandparents die so he could get attention, for quite a while. 

He feels left behind in science, like his C’s and D’s in those classes. All those classes were was putting things on a windowsill for the janitor to throw away. He had a bit about how the fuck people put dinosaurs back together, it’s like getting wayfair furniture without the instructions. 

He also things the moon belongs to America. Like we got there first and when other countries say stuff about the moon he’s like mmmmmmm.

He also had a joke about paying to get into college and like, for white people that’s always how it’s been. 

The show ended with him going over the highlights of that GQ interview that he was so coked out for that he forgot he did it entirely. He has no memory of it at all. He was just called up that day and asked for an interview and you know how coke is the best drug to receive attention on? He just did whatever he wanted with that attention. 

And that was the show.

[emonaculate]

Streamer Eren Headcanon pt 2

`❥ AU: Modern!AU

`❥ Genre: Fluff

`❥ Pairing: Streamer!Eren x Black!Reader

`❥ Warnings Include: Profanity, Established relationship, Eren is a dork

`❥ Author Note: You guys loved the first one so much I decided to do it again. Sorry if it isn't as good as the first one, I'm working on other projects at the same time

Eren met you during college and was instantly smitten

You were a foreign student studying abroad

He spent months trying to learn English just to properly talk to you

You finally cave in and go on dates with him because slfkssrlw how could you not when he's that sweet

Having said that, when you're frustrated whilst he streams, to check on you he'll switch over to English.

"Hey pretty girl whats wrong?"

"I can't find the letters for my cross word."

"....Aha lemme see."

He is trying his hardest not to laugh at your cute little scrunched up face as he helps you find the word.

During his charity streams, by popular vote, he lets you do his make up

Despite the stream being 24 hrs long people continue to watch because the interactions are too cute.

" 'Ren stay still."

"It feels moist."

"Never say that again."

"Wait. Babe. I want the thingy on my eyes."

"Thingy?"

"Yeah the sharp shit and the stuff on my lashes."

"Its called wing liner and mascara, Eren."

"Yeah that shit."

"Don't swear. Kids are watching."

"Man fuck them-"

"Yeager."

"....Ahem... sorry."

He is definitely the baddest bitch after you finish <3

Kept the make up on even after the stream finished

He may be a COD player but he does not have toxic masculinity

LOVES how he looks when pampered and whilst he'll never go out of his way to do make up or use your products; if you ever offer he's down

"What that's shit on your face?"

"It's an Indian face mask."

"It looks like throw up."

"Do you wanna try it?"

"Yes."

Once talked shit about braids not hurting that bad.

So the only natural solution was to make a bet

You styled his beautiful long hair into nice and neat cornrows (if you can't braid, take him to the africans)

He couldn't even sit through the procedure, literally got up and left midway through

"Fuck no. I like pain as much as the next guy but hell no."

"Aw baby what wrong? I thought it wasn't that bad."

Went on stream the next day to talk about the experience and why he wouldn't wish that on anyone.

Everyone can tell that your relationship is serious when you accidentally broke his PS5

Like he gets absolutely livid and wants to do nothing more than yell at you

But after seeing your teary eyed expression and your broken apologies in German

He just accepts it and steps completely out of the room to keep from blowing up on you.

It takes a few days and even though you feel completely like shit, you dont bother him

He finally comes around and just holds you tightly

No words or anything

His gesture is enough to let you know he forgives you.

He gets a new one immediately and is more careful when it comes to letting you mess with alone though lmao

Decides to do the little draw my life video and moves people to tears without trying

He thought his trauma was normal pfft

While that gets to people, what really affects his audience is when he get to how you make him feel

"If I can describe Y/n with one word, I'd have to say sunshine. You know that feeling when you've seen nothing but depressing rainstorms for months at a time but just that one day, the sun pokes out and shows that the world isn't so gloomy and bad. It's actually quite beautiful. The sun manages to make those sad raindrops look like diamonds. Thats Y/n to me. She makes the days where I feel at my worst better in every way. "

Eren suffers from a couple mental illnesses which is why he donates to their respected charities

He suffers from ADHD, Depression, and Anger issues.

Now you can't just magically make all of his issues go away but you being around does soothe him in a special way

Not many people can do that and LOTS have tried

But you just manage to get him in ways he cant explain

Even the videos with all of his friends involved, his focus on you

Fans can tell when you guys are not together during streams

Eren's temper is a lot shorter and he pops off quickly.

And of course he just so happens to play "getting over it"

This is one of those times he gets cancelled

Coochie-manz63: wow ur trash

"You're literally someone who hides behind a fucking screen to talk shit but I know if I was in front of you; there would be no exchange because if you so much looked at me wrong, I would have beaten your ass into fucking next year, you dyslexic fucking waste of space. Learn how to goddamn spell before you try to talk shit again."

IloveYEAGGGGER23: Damn..

You ended up being the one to clean up his mess, yet again

"Eren is very sorry for his actions, He understands how his words can be hurtful to others.. Right babe?"

"Huh? Oh um yeah.. My bad ig."

After the apology video, you give Eren one of your famous lectures.

"Eren you can't treat others like that just because you get a little upset. Remember what your therapist said about controlling your temper. You can't just do it when I'm around, you have to do it all the time.

Now Eren loves you to pieces but your lectures just do not help his ADHD mind.

So to shut you up, he does the only thing he knows how

Takes your breath and thoughts away with his passionate kisses.

His pattern is always the same

He pretends to listen, nodding occasionally, stands up and moves closer to you.

Grabs your jaw gently and tips your head back before capturing your lips into a sheering kiss that always leaves you breathless

"What were we talking about?"

"We were just going to get some food."

You're just as weak for Eren as he is for you <3